Explaining the news to our children
Explaining prominent and distressing news events to children can be a difficult topic for parents, as they may not know what to say in such moments. The age-based strategies presented here can be helpful in this area.
The truth is that children in elementary school ages and some middle school students face difficulties in fully understanding the news. Although teenagers are able to better understand current events, they face challenges in distinguishing between truth and people’s opinions or identifying misinformation.
No matter what age your children are, in any case, threatening and sad news can affect them emotionally. Many children facing this news may feel worried, scared, angry, or even guilty. And these anxiety-inducing feelings can continue even after the matter is over. The question is, what can parents do to help our kids cope with all this information?
Here are some tips for all children of all ages:
- First, consider your own reactions: Kids pay attention to how you react and act toward a particular piece of news before determining their own approach to the issue. So if you stay calm and logical, they will do the same.
- Take action: Depending on the type of incident that occurred and the child’s age, families can find ways to help those affected. For example, ask your child to make postcards, write letters to the politicians of their country, use their savings to help the victims, or donate items to them.
Tips for children under 7
- Keep news out of children’s reach: Turn off the TV and radio during news broadcast hours. Read the newspaper away from your child’s eyes as well, because children are also scared of seeing news photos (usually kids react intensely to pictures of other kids in danger). Preschoolers do not need to see or hear anything that scares them at all, mostly because they easily mistake reality for their fantasies or fears.
- Emphasize that your family is completely safe: At this age, kids are more concerned with their sense of security and separation from you. Do not ignore their worries and fears under any circumstances, and instead, reassure the child that all protective measures (you can name them for the child) are being taken to keep the family safe.
- Maintain your togetherness: Although listening to the child and not ignoring their fears is important, distracting them and providing physical comfort can be very effective. For example, watching happy things or doing fun activities together can be much more effective than giving logical explanations about the probabilities related to the news.
Tips for kids ages 8-12
- Consider your child’s mood and maturity: Many kids can digest discussions about threatening and dangerous events, but if your child has a sensitive spirit, make sure to keep them away from TV news.
- Be available for questions and talking about the news: Many kids at this age start to see and recognize morality in events that happen, and view this morality in black-and-white terms. Children at this age are developing their moral beliefs. You may need to explain the basics of concepts like prejudice, zeal, and civil and religious differences to your child. But be careful about creating broad definitions, because kids remember what you say. Right now is a good time to ask what they know, as they have probably received information from their friends, and this is where you can correct their misconceptions.
- Talk about – and filter – news coverage with your child: You can explain to your child that even news programs compete with each other to attract more audiences, which sometimes affects their decisions on news content. If you allow your child to use the internet, visit some sensational news sites and images alongside them and monitor where your child is browsing on the internet, or set your URL settings to non-news portals.
Tips for teenagers
- Engage in discussion: Since in many cases, teenagers receive news independently from you, by talking to them you can offer your great insights regarding their forming policies as well as concepts of justice and morality in their minds. This helps you understand what information your child has already obtained and what things they have gotten from social networks. You can also align your perspectives with theirs (just be careful not to reject their views or they will immediately end the discussion).
- Let your teenager express themselves: Many teenagers get excited about events and may identify with the victim even if they know them. They also know that their own lives can be affected by violence. Try to address their concerns without dismissing or underestimating them.